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# 1. - Don't assume that all those telephone calls you've been getting all night are coming from another house.
# 2. - When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
# 3. - Never go into the dark barn alone, no matter how much your girlfriend or boyfriend may beg you to go make out.
# 4. - And don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out, either!
# 5. - If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. (It will save you a lot of grief in the long run; however, it will probably take several rounds to kill them -- so be prepared.)
# 6. - Never build a house on old Indian burial grounds -- at least not if you can help it.
# 7. - Don't have sex -- especially if you've noticed that a few of your friends are already missing!
# 8. - As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open up portals to other dimensions.
# 9. - Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. (This would also apply to moving hearses, but you could have probably figured that one out on your own.)
# 10. - If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, don't just stand their sighing with relief--GET THE HECK OUTTA THERE!
# 11. - If appliances start operating by themselves, don't check for short circuits; JUST LEAVE AND DON'T LOOK BACK.
# 12. - Never take candy from strangers -- especially dead strangers.
# 13. - If you find a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and poke around.
# 14. - If at any time the house you're staying in tells you to get out - DO SO.
# 15. - If you're running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice -- especially if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely ambling along, he's still somehow moving fast enough to catch up with you.
# 16. - If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, bloodthirst, glowing eyes, sudden hirsuteness, etc., kill them immediately. Barring that, just get the hell outta Dodge.
# 17. - Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small creepy town in Maine.
# 18. - If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you find it strange because you thought you had half of a tank of gas already, shoot yourself instead. (You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten by brain-crazed zombies.)
# 19. - Beware of strange men bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, sledgehammers, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.
# 20. - If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses whose previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion.
# 2. - When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
# 3. - Never go into the dark barn alone, no matter how much your girlfriend or boyfriend may beg you to go make out.
# 4. - And don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out, either!
# 5. - If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. (It will save you a lot of grief in the long run; however, it will probably take several rounds to kill them -- so be prepared.)
# 6. - Never build a house on old Indian burial grounds -- at least not if you can help it.
# 7. - Don't have sex -- especially if you've noticed that a few of your friends are already missing!
# 8. - As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open up portals to other dimensions.
# 9. - Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. (This would also apply to moving hearses, but you could have probably figured that one out on your own.)
# 10. - If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, don't just stand their sighing with relief--GET THE HECK OUTTA THERE!
# 11. - If appliances start operating by themselves, don't check for short circuits; JUST LEAVE AND DON'T LOOK BACK.
# 12. - Never take candy from strangers -- especially dead strangers.
# 13. - If you find a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and poke around.
# 14. - If at any time the house you're staying in tells you to get out - DO SO.
# 15. - If you're running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice -- especially if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely ambling along, he's still somehow moving fast enough to catch up with you.
# 16. - If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, bloodthirst, glowing eyes, sudden hirsuteness, etc., kill them immediately. Barring that, just get the hell outta Dodge.
# 17. - Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small creepy town in Maine.
# 18. - If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you find it strange because you thought you had half of a tank of gas already, shoot yourself instead. (You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten by brain-crazed zombies.)
# 19. - Beware of strange men bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, sledgehammers, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.
# 20. - If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses whose previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion.